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Thursday, August 13, 2009

~ Walking With You - The Things People Say ~



Walking With You was created to help support those who have lost a child. Together we share stories, helpful information, scriptures, encouraging words. prayer requests, and more. Thank-you to those of you who have joined for the past few weeks.... for courageously sharing your stories. If you haven't joined us yet, and would like to, you are more than welcome. This week we are sharing about things people say:


I would have to say with both of my miscarriages , I had some nice things said but for the most part they were rude. My Mom & Husband & 3 close friends were the best. They were there if I just wanted a Hug or to talk or whatever I needed. I think the worst thing that stands out about my first miscarriage was the way the hospital treated me. I knew I was losing the baby when I went to E.R. but down deep I wanted them to do something to stop it even though I knew they couldn't. The first nurse I had was nice but the second one was rude. She told me if you have that many kids it was probably a blessing. I had 3 children at the time 6,4 & almost 2. I thought how could it be a blessing I still could have handled another child. I love children. Then she brought me in a pamplet just before they took me to surgery for a D & C. It was on miscarriage & she told me that should answer any questions I had. It was alot for me to take it that the baby inside me was gone & then to have been talked to that way. When I went back to work I had people tell me you didn't really need another child, you already have 3. Hey I know you feel bad but you gotta snap out of this. Also I remember hearing you find out who your true friends are when things are really bad. Well I did some people who I thought were my friends really weren't. Then there was some who maybe just didn't know what to say, so they didn't say anything which made me feel like they didn't care. All in all everyone handles grief differently & I'm the type that in time I like to talk about things. I may be able to help someone else.

Another thing that bothered me was my Mom when I had my miscarriage was that she was trying to help me but at the same time she had lost a Grandson. So I was sad that my Mom was having to hurt to.

When I lost again I was here in Nevada & my family was all in Ohio & my close friends. I felt so alone even though I knew the Lord was with me. We were still staying w/ my husband's sister at the time. She is 20 yrs older than my husband which made her 68. Well for one she told me at different times that she disliked girls. She told someone in the family it was probably a girl & that's all her brother needed was another child. She also said to just not worry about it, it wasn't meant to be. I got so upset & I just wanted to come back to Ohio where I had someone to talk to that cared. It was so tough but w/ the Lord & alot of prayers I made it. The words hurt I wish she had never said anything.

It is the toughest thing in my life that I have been through & I still have times when it hurts but I know that one day I will see my babies. I pray for all of you that have lost & just know that I care. HUGS

6 comments :

Adrienne said...

So sorry that you had to go through something like that with those people that made rude and careless comments or said nothing at all. I've never had a miscarriage but I know many that have and I know it's very painful and hard to move on. Glad you are able to find support through this group!

Holly said...

I hate it when people treat a miscarriage as nothing. I have never had one but I know it would hurt me if I did. A little life is lost and grieving for that life is normal.

Jennifer Ross said...

I can't believe that people told you to basically just move on. What a bunch of hurtful things that were said to you. I did have a very early miscarriage before I loss Isaiah, and it really bothered me. Having had children already, I knew exactly what I just had lost. God Bless.

Love,
Jenny

Trennia said...

Yeah I understand when I miscarried twins in 2001 my doctor told me I qoute"You should thank God you don't need anymore damn children!"..I dropped her quickly as my ob dr.
When Emily passed away people said, "don't worry you can try again, or you'll have more!" I was like I want Emily and NO I can't have people stuiped I loss my uterus too! People don't undertand but good grief another child will NEVER replace the one that is gone.God bless.

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

I am so sorry to hear the hurtful things that were said to you. You were grieving...and rightfully so. People sometimes just do not get it...and some can be heartless.

Praying God's continued comfort for you...

Franchesca Cox said...

Losing a baby really changes every relationship. I am so glad that the goodness of God has brought you this far. And I am thankful for blogworld, it offers a unique support and wonderful outlet!

 
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