It's been 23 yrs ago today my Dad passed away. It's me your daughter and I miss you so much. The grief is still there, so much has changed for me. Wow I know you already know that I'm a Mommy and 2 of my angels are already with you. I even got marrried remember when I said I would never do that, LOL. I even moved away and what I dislike the most is I can't come visit your grave anymore. I loved to plant flowers at the gravesite & just go sit on that hill & watch the horses at the amish farm & enjoy the peaceful feeling. I just want you to know I still miss you so much. I was thinking the other day about when I went to the nursing home after you passed away & talked to the social worker. I just wanted to see if you were scared to leave us or if there was anything she could tell me. I remember how you just wanted people to smile :) I did find out a interesting thing from her & I would like to share it today. I couldn't go see my Dad cause I had to work a double at my job, so I wrote him a letter & mailed it to him. At the time I thought this was silly , the only time I wrote a letter was when I was staying at my Grandparents in the summer as a child. It was just a general letter nothing real exciting but the social worker told me that's all my Dad talked about was how I took the time to write him a letter being 21 yrs old. It's made me stop & think it's just the simple things in life that mean the most. I still have the letter today & I will treasure it forever cause it made my Dad so happy. :) Grief is tough cause there's always the anniversary of the death, person's birthday, holidays & just special family things it never goes away. So if there is one thing I learned from this is live for today , tomorrow may not be & yesterday is just a memory. I can remember even in the last days of my Dad's life he wanted to see no tears just be happy for one day I will see you again where there is no pain or suffering. It was hard to watch him go & days like today are tough but I know even though I can't go to the grave today My Dad knows how much I Love Him.
I'm a wife to a very special man ~ Paul , who is just Awesome. I'm a Mommy to four wonderful , amazing children on Earth Ridge , Thaniqua , Jennifer and our Little Rainbow Baby Carly. I have four children in Heaven Riley , Little Muffin & Sweet Pea , Rosebud who I miss but know that One day we will be together. Also I have three step-children which are all in there 20's.