Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Walking with You was created to help support those who have lost a child. Together we share stories , helpful information , scriptures ,encouraging words , prayer requests and more. Thank - youto those of you that have joined us for the past few weeks ....... for courageously sharing your stories. If you haven't joined us yet and would like to , you are more than welcome. This week we will be sharing about the effect on our marriage after loss of baby.
Well Paul & I have been together since early 2003. We only lived together when I had my first miscarriage, Feb 10 2006. It was hard because it was already a tough time for us. I had some other issues going on & I felt like it was my fault that we lost our child. Paul is a very quiet guy & he lost both his parents at a young age. I remember coming home after being at the hospital & him doing everything he could for me, from holding me & taking care of our other children. In the days that followed I asked him if he wanted to talk but he never said much at all. I didn't want to pressure him so I let things be. I needed to talk & really didn't know where to turn but to the Lord. I prayed & tried to understand why this happened. I used books to try to help me. I knew Paul was there but I knew he was one to keep things inside. Things were still good between us. We got married in Dec 2006 & then we decided to make a big move in our life, We moved to Nevada Sept 2007. I was only 8 weeks this time & once again I miscarried Dec 2007. It was hard because we didn't have our own place yet. We were staying with his oldest sister. It was tough for both of us, we needed our own space to together.
Finally in Feb 2008 , we got our own place & Sept 2008 I found out I was pregnant. We were both nervous & Paul I know was worried to that we might lose again. Things were different this time & things went well but many times he would bring up those children we lost. So I thought wow this is the first time he is really saying anything. don't get me wrong everytime I miscarried he was always there but I feel maybe he didn't know what to say & he was hurting to. I know that men & women grief different. I know today we are stronger & closer since we lost. We how have 4 children together 2 alive & 2 that passed away. I have 2 children from another relationship & he has 3 from another relationship. This is really neat a week and a half ago our children went back to school. Jennifer ( Paul & I ) our daughter started Kindergarden. I was saying how quiet it will be here in the afternoon with everyone but our youngest daughter & I here. Paul gave me a hug & said you know honey we should have 2 more at home yet. Not that I had forgot but it was sweet. I know that was just part of his way of grieving. We talk alot more about it now & I know we both have those moments when we think about them. I know that we both know the Lord & put our trust in him & he will always be there to carry us together thru those rough & tough times. I remember reading the Bible alot & have a few verses to share that helped us.
Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comfortrd. Matthew 5 : 4
God shall wipe all tears from there eyes ; and there shall be no more death, nor crying, neither shall there be anymore pain ; for all the former things are passed away. Revelation 21 : 4
The words of Job never rung more true to us also ;
Naked I came from my mother's womb , and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away ; may the name of the LORD be praised.
We hold onto the hope that our children , whom we never got to hold in our arms is now resting in the arms of Jesus & that there name is written on the palm of God's hand.
As for support just be there for each other everyday cause the grief never ends. Trust in the Lord always.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Start here with your content. Replace this paragraph, and everything down to AND INCLUDING the word: STOP. DO NOT REMOVE OR CHANGE THE CODE BEYOND THE WORD STOP BELOW! This week's Blog Hop theme is Favorite Kid Photos. You can have one or more of your favorite photos your kids, grandkids, someone else's kid or even YOU when you were a kid. Funny, precious, heartwarming... your favorite!. Here is a sample post based on this theme: http://www.mcklinkyblog.com/2009/07/blog-hop-72809-favorite-kid-photos.html ...STOP
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Walking With You was created to help support those who have lost a child. Together we share stories, helpful information, scriptures, encouraging words, prayer requests, and more. Thank-you to those of you who have joined us for the past few weeks....... for courageously sharing your stories. If you haven't joined us yet and would like to, you are more than welcome. This week we are sharing our first steps into the sea of grief.
This is my first time sharing , I had two miscarriages one at 12 wks & one at 8 wks. It was really tough then & I know it still is there. I have days that it seems like it bothers me more. I didn't have much of a support system. I had alot of questions & I didn't know where to turn. I felt like I couldn't breathe for days. I'm a christian and I know that helped me. I remember laying in the E.R. at the hospital & praying so hard. A nurse brought me a little pamplet to read about miscarriage. I know Psalm 23 by heart & I kept thinking, Lord I need your help. I had surgery and then was released. I lost a little boy that day. I had 3 children at home & my oldest son at the time was the only child that knew I was pregnant. He was only 6 & I wondered to myself how I would tell him. I remember leaving the hospital & thinking to myself this couldn't have happened to me. I had this very empty feeling inside that I never felt before.
In the days that followed, we told my son & of course his biggest question was where is the baby ? It made it hard & I was still trying to deal with things myself. Then I went back to work. the only one that really knew I thought was my boss but I was wrong. I guess everyone knew. I had some be real nice about it & not know what to say. Others said it will be ok you already have kids. Well no it wasn't ok just because I had children. I did so much reading on miscarriages but wondered why this happened to me & others. Right after it happened & I would see a baby , I would lose it & cry. As time went on things got somewhat easier but it was still there. Then August came & I should have had a new baby.
Once again it happened I miscarried again & this time we had just made a big move to Nevada from Ohio. I had no family of mine here just my husband's side & I had just met them. I again felt so empty & lonely. This time my husband was the only one that knew I was pregnant.
I was afraid to say anything for the fear of miscarrying. It was still hard & my husband's oldest sister told someone that we didn't need anymore children. I cried I'm trying accept things. I still cry at times & my heart hurts. I wonder if things had been different what my children would be like today ? It's a hurt that will never go away but I have faith & trust in the Lord, someday I will see my babies & I get excited.
I have a few verses to share :
Be still, and know that I am God. Psalm 46 :10
Blessed our those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5 : 4
For this God is our God for ever and ever, he will be our guide even to the end. Psalm 48 : 14
I pray for everyone that has lost a child.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Wow they sure make lots of shades of crayons
Monday, July 20, 2009
Well Jennifer had a good time. She goes in the afternoon so for her school starts at 12:15 & gets out at 3:00. This was so funny when we walked up to the Kindergarden gate today, Jennifer said to me it's ok Mom I'm going to be ok & I know you will be here at 3:00. I hadn't said alot too her but I think she knew Mommy might cry but the only thing I had said is that they are happy tears. I did better than I thought & today when I picked her up there was that smile & I heard her tell the teacher my MOMMY is here. Just to see that smile was great. She talked all the way home. So glad things went well.
Just wanted to share a little bit about the school they attend. There school is a yr round school.Which actually when we first moved here I wasn't to sure about. They go to school 9 wks & off 3 wks. It's really nice cause they learn better I think cause they aren't away from class that long, especially while there young. They have 4 quarters & at the end of that they usually get 6 wks off in the summer. This yr they only got 4 wks for summer but the school says it will all fair out in the school yr. It didn't matter my gang was so ready to go back. I really like it cause you don't have the summer to have to keep finding things to do. Also at Christmas & Easter they have a longer break time so if you wanta go out of town you have the x-tra time. It's neat & I like it alot. I think the kids like school better too.
Well again Jennifer had a great time & everyone else. Still hard to believe that time goes by so fast. HUGS :)
And pretend to be a MOMMY
Or just have fun w/ Mom while shopping
And I love to smile
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Or a Twist
Monday, July 13, 2009
Well 3 things you probably didn't know about me are :
1. I play Fantasy Baseball - Beat the Streak on MLB.com. I love baseball & it's really alot of fun.
2. My name is Caroline & yes I was named after John F Kennedy's daughter. My parents were married on Nov 30, 1963 right after he was killed. My Dad thought that little girl was so cute & that's how I got my name. I was born in September of 1964.
3. I love to make crafts but right now I don't have much time for it. I would rather make something for someone than buy it.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Dear Lord, I thank you for this day. I thank you for being able to see and to hear this morning. I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God. You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me. Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was not pleasing to you. I ask you now for Your forgiveness.
Please keep me safe from all danger and harm. Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude. Let me make the best of each and every day to clear my mind so that I can hear from You.
Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over. Let me continue to see through Your eyes and acknowledge it as evil. And when I sin, let me repent, and confess with my mouth of my wrongdoing, and recieve forgiveness.
And when this world closes in on me, let me remember Jesus' example - to slip away and find a quiet place to pray. It's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits. I know that when I can't pray, You will listen with your heart. Continue to use me to do Your will.
Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others. Keep me strong that I may help the weak. Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others. I pray for those who are lost and can't find there way. I pray for those who are misjudged and misunderstood. I pray for those who don't know You intimately. I pray for those who will delete this without sharing it with others. I pray for those who don't believe. But I thank you that I believe.
I believe that You change people and You change things for good reasons. I pray for all my sisters and brothers. For each and every one of my family members and friends and there families. I pray for peace, love and joy in the homes that are out of debt and that all there needs are met.
I pray that every eye that reads this knows there is no problem, circumstance, or situation greater than You. Every battle is in your hands for You to fight. I pray that these words be recieved into the hearts of every eye that sees them and every mouth confesses them willingly .....
This is my prayer.
In Jesus' Name, Amen.
I hope that all that reads this enjoys it because it is all so true. I'm so proud to say that I know the Lord & he is with me everyday through the good and the bad. He is there for all of us and He loves You and Me so much. Hoping you are having a great SUNDAY !!!
Friday, July 10, 2009
What makes You happy ??
Wow that's a tough question sometimes .............
Yesterday I was on Facebook & one of my friends was having a rough day. I added a comment & so we chatted for a little. Later on after all the kids & Dad went to bed I get my what I call my Mommy time w/out all the chatter & someone always wanting something , LOL. I wanted to write something on my blog but was just to tired. I ended up staying up like usual until midnite. My little Jennifer was coughing so I ended up putting her on the couch & gave her medicine. I usually watch General Hospital on Soapnet at 10pm & then play on the computer. Anyway I got thinking about the chat from the afternoon , What makes you happy ????
Well when I was a Kid it was candy & toys & staying w/my grandparents in the summertime. You know when you were young it didn't take much.
When I was in High school it was going to the mall or hanging out w/friends, parties etc..........
Well now that I have grown up it seems like the things I thought really made me happy don't matter that much anymore like shopping & always doing something I loved. Now I'm a wife & a Mom & just being w/family makes me happy. I would have to also say that GOD makes me happy. I thought of a couple verses from the Bible too.
I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances Philippians 4 : 11
He who heeds the word wisely will find good, And whoever trusts in the LORD happy is he. Proverbs 16 : 20
You know whatever the day brings I try to be happy cause everything comes from the LORD. So just knowing the LORD & being thankful for all he has blessed my life with makes me happy. Yes I have had my share of sad times but I know that happiness is just a journey not a destination.
Hoping you have a great day . HUGS :)
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
This is my first time doing the Wednesday Walk but I thought it was really neat. My memory that I would like to share goes back to August 28, 1986. This is the day my father passed away. He had cancer & in July 1983 he was told he only had 6 months to live. I can remember how I reacted to it. Not my Dad ????? Why would God want to take my father ? I think I cried all night & didn't know what to say to my Dad
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
They come in all COLORS !!!!!!!!
They even make them 4 KIDS !!!!!
Monday, July 6, 2009
This weeks assignment is to tell about your BFF
Well here I go ...................
I don't have just one BFF. I have lots of friends & I treasure all of them soooooooo much. I once had someone tell me you have too many friends but I don't feel that way. So let me tell you about some of my friends.......
Vickie - This is my friend & neighbor while growing up. She is one yr older than me & we used to do everything together. We started playing together when I was 4 & we have been there for each other though alot. I live in Nevada now since 2007 so we don't see each other but we stay in contact over the internet. Her parents still live next door to my Mom & at one time we all used to plant garden in the summer together. She is a very sweet person & we have lots of memories to share for a lifetime.
Colleen - She is my only sister & she is 5 yrs younger than me. I don't get to see her now since the move but we talk once a wk. There was a time when we weren't very close but I think all sisters might go though that, LOL. I wouldn't know what to do with out her. She is a christian woman & does puppets w/her church & involved in Scouts & Relay for Life chairperson. She is a wonderful Mom & I just miss her so much.
Jennifer - She was my boss at my job before moving. We worked at the local newspaper & I just loved that job. I love the news anyway & I'm a big fan of CNN or Headline News. We just got along so well & I felt like I had knew her 4ever. We used to go shopping when we got off of work at 4am in the morning. It was Walmart here we come & it was great cause it wasn't crowded. We printed the paper that's why we got off so early in the morning & she also made work so much fun as long as you did your job.
I could go on forever I have so many friends & I'm so thankful that the Lord has blessed me w/ so many. I would also like to remember all my online friends that I have You all our so special to me & being away from Ohio it just means so much to have you there.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy & Safe 4th of July. We don't have any real big plans just hangin out together as a family & having a good day together. We are so lucky they set the fireworks off right across from our Apartment complex so we don't have to fight all that traffic. They also have a small fair at the park next door beside us. Even with all the cookouts & whatever let's not forget the meaning of the day HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA !!!!!!! May God keep all of you safe in whatever you may do. Happy 4th of July !!!!!!! HUGS :)
My blog is just a family blog to keep friends & family updated on us. Just a way of sharing with others. It's alot of fun for all of us.
***Replace this line with your paragraph of content. This week the theme is INTRODUCE YOUR BLOG. Write one paragraph that introduces your blog to the blog hop participants. Do not change any part of this snippet of code except for this paragraph only.... replace the text that falls between (and includes) the opening and closing asterisks. Be sure to enter your own link to your own blog hop post as soon as the blog hop starts!***
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Also today was my step-son Justin's Birthday. He turned 21 wow so hard to believe. When I started seeing his Dad my hubby now he was a freshman in High School. He attends college at Mount Vernon Nazarene. He stays at home w/his Mom in Wooster, Ohio, when not in school. Hoping that maybe soon he can come out for a visit. Anyway Happy Birthday JUSTIN !!!!!!
Also my step-daughter Jessica made it home safe from her LA Mission Trip. We haven't talked to her but I know she had a blast.
Better run for now HUGS :)