Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Wednesday's Walk - Remembering Dad

This is my first time doing the Wednesday Walk but I thought it was really neat. My memory that I would like to share goes back to August 28, 1986. This is the day my father passed away. He had cancer & in July 1983 he was told he only had 6 months to live. I can remember how I reacted to it. Not my Dad ????? Why would God want to take my father ? I think I cried all night & didn't know what to say to my Dad
My Dad was upset & for the first day I think now he was numb or didn't want to believe it. Well he went & had surgery & things were ok for awhile. My Dad was strong & tough. He told all of us this wasn't going to stop him. He said he had God on his side & he would beat this. My Dad & I were really close & this was tough on me. I used to cry when I knew Dad wasn't at home or sleeping. I prayed everyday that God please just don't take my father. Well it had been 2 yrs & Dad was still ok but now he finally had to quit his job it was just getting hard for him to do his job. He disliked that so much but he found things to do to keep him busy. I remember thinking to myself if that was me I don't think I could be that strong. He always said I'm going to heaven someday but I'm going to have a goodtime until the Lord decides to take me.
In March of 1986 I was in a terrible ATV accident. I went though a barb-wire fence & had to have over 200 stitches. I had 2 holes in my neck & really thought I was going to die. My Dad had been in bed alot so all he seen that night of the accident was me running to the bathroom covered in blood. My Mom calmed him down & I went to the hospital. I know he was worried & I was scared this would make something bad happen to him. Well I didn't have insurance so the hospital sent me home but everyday I had to go back to get my bandages changed. That was really a pain cause my Mom didn't drive & my brother had just started a new job. So guess what my Dad who was sick & dying drove me to the hospital which was a half hour away everyday. Finally about 5 days after the accident our family doctor asked me how my Dad was ? I said he is outside in the car waiting for me. The dr couldn't believe it he knew how sick my Dad was. I told him what my Dad told me that was you are still my kid & I'm going to take care of you til that day comes when I'm not here anymore. I finally got better but Wow how much my Dad loved me.
Well in June of that same yr , We had to put him in a nursing home. We tried so hard to take care of him but it was more than we could handle. I hated it but I went to see him everyday. Finally the time was getting near & I could see my Dad slipping away. My Mom didn't want to believe it inside I knew she knew this was it. My Dad had asked for no life support when it is time it is time. Well the evening of August 27,1986 we went to see Dad & this would be the last time to see him alive. He was laughing & joking with us but then we were getting ready to leave & he told me come here I wanta see just YOU. He told me this is it & I won't be here tomorrow it's time to go home. I cried & he said promise me you will take care of your Mom & make sure your little sister finishes school. She was in the 10th grade & I knew she would finish she was the baby & the only one he wouldn't see graduate. Well we all said goodbye & we were only home a hr & the hospital called & said he was starting to go. Dad didn't want to remember us sitting there waiting for the moment to come. He wanted to remember us all having a good time & he said I'm not alone in this God is right here. I always try to remember how strong he was. Well Dad didn't leave til August 28, 1986 at 6 am.
The part that amazes me the most is how strong my Dad was & how much he trusted the Lord. Also how much love he had for all of us but when my accident happened he was still there for me. Now that I'm a parent I can understand that love alot better. I just wanta say Dad I Love You & I Miss You so much. Someday soon I know I will see you again.
Well this was my memory & I have been thinking about him alot since Father's Day has just passed. It's always so hard that he isn't here but I know my Dad is up just waiting on us. HUGS DAD :)


Lilyofthevalley - Tanya said...

Thank you for sharing about your dad.

Adrienne said...

Thanks for sharing Caroline-sounds like your dad was wonderful!

Holly said...

Caroline, I loved reading about your dad. He sounds so special and I'm so sorry you lost him. I can tell you love him very, very much and that he loved you so much too.

Lynnette Kraft said...

I'm so sorry you lost your daddy. :( Sounds like you had a wonderful relationship with him and he was a loving father.

Thank you for sharing your heart here on Wednesday's Walk.

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