Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Chapter 2 - Read With Us

My comment for this chapter it brought alot of tears to my eyes but I really am in love with this book. It really has helped me understand some of the feelings I felt when it seemed like I had no one to talk to but the Lord.
Do you have a funny experience to share ? What are some of the silly or stupid things you did ?
Wow one I can recall just like yesterday was giving my son a bath. He was 3 wks & I just loved doing everything since Dr's had always told me I could never carry a child. I got everything out well I thought & here I forgot the towel the main thing. It wasn't a total mess because we were in the kitchen using the sink & so I used a couple kitchen towels. It was just so funny, I can remember telling my sister & thinking I was so stupid. I used to baby-sit for people all the time & I had watched children from all ages so when I was a Mommy most things just fell into place when they needed to happen. Still when you have your own it's different & I just love being a MOM.
Has there been a time in your life that you felt the world was falling apart ?
Many times I had things tough so much w/ my older children's father. We weren't married but he was very controlling & for awhile my son & daughter & I lived in a domestic sheltar. Also with my husband now we have had 2 miscarragies & that was tough.
Has God ever worked a miracle in your life or in the life of somone you know ?
Yes I would have to say with my "Surprise" Birth of my oldest. No Dr visits & everything I was doing working 60 hrs at a new job the last month I would have been pregnant & heavy lifting & for my son Ridge to come out fine. It was AWESOME & still to this day I wonder how it all happened & he was fine. I know it had to be the Lord watching over us. Still alot to take in.
How has the difficult times affected your marriage ?
With us having 2 miscarriages in a row it has brought us closer. Paul is a great husband & best friend & I thank God everyday that he is the father of my children. My older 2 by blood are not ours together but the love he has for them is so great. Knowing what my children went through before, we are all so very close.
What fears have you struggled with?
I have had a couple terrible ones. My older children's father & always telling me that one day he would take Ridge & Marie & never bring them back cause I was a bad MOM. He is considered a junkie or my favorite name a drug dealer. He doesn't pay me support but he was able to get visitation. It always scared me to let them go see him. I still have nightmares & wake up screaming that he took them from me. This past pregnancy was fearful since I had 2 miscarriages before. I cried when I found out I was having a baby again cause I was afraid I would lose it again & didn't want that to happen.
Do you feel that God has a plan for your life ?
Yes I do , I feel that with everything we have went through is just to make us stronger & know that he is there.
What has been the hardest moment of your life so far ?
I would have to say when I had my first miscarriage & 2 days before that, My Ridge had been stabbed by his Father. It was a very stressful time for me. I was worried for my son even though he was home but at the same time I was losing another little boy. I also had never had surgery before & now I have to have a D & C because I miscarried. I prayed alot but it was so hard. I can remember crying for days & trying to hide it from my other children. It was alot to go though all at once.


Holly said...

Way to improvise and use kitchen towels. I probably would've done the same thing! ;)

I am glad that you aren't with your older children's father. I don't even want to imagine how bad of a situation that would be for you. I'm sorry you still have to deal w/ him and it's not right that he doesn't pay support but still gets visitation.

I'm so sorry you lost 2 little ones. (((hugs))) It's never easy losing a baby, no matter how far along you are.

stitchndeb said...

My oldest son's father rarely paid child support either. He would always hiss at me, "Go ahead and have me put in jail. See how much money you'd get then." The thing that kills me is (like your situation) he was still able to have visitation! But I want to tell you that even during my five years as a single mom, even without the C.S. we made it. And it really is true "what goes around comes around." Guess where my ex has been the last seven years? In prison for bank robbery. I know a lot of people will tell you that you should go after your kids' father with a vengeance, but even if you don't, his behavior will catch up with him. ~Debbie

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