Project 365 - Day 181

Thaniqua is really growing up.
My oldest daughter but the day she told me Mom I can talk to you about anything. Makes me feel so good.

Emotional Moments

This is me these past few days.......

Just so emotional.

Why ??????

We should have been getting ready to welcome a new baby to our home. Instead of that , as I turn the calander tomorrow I'm reminded. I haven't forgotten our last loss. My little Sweetpea. I'm not going to go on about how much it still hurts me , my husband and children. It's there and it will always be.

I had said that Carly was having problems sleeping so we put her in a toddler bed. No more crib the baby part is gone. So Monday a lady that lives in our complex needed a crib for her daughter that is moving here with her. I felt good being able to help someone else out. My husband and I discussed it and no more children. I'm getting up there in age for babies even though I have what I call Awesome deliveries under three hours. I'm not stopping it but I feel like it's just the end.

Most of all I'm so blessed to be a Mother to all seven of my children. Especially when Doctors told me I would never get that way or have a child. So today as I say Goodbye to the crib and Hello to the month of July tomorrow , I know there will be a day to see those children.

I think of this song , I love it so much.

Project 365 - Day 180

Little Miss Carly's ~ Croc shoes. I love these shoes so relaxing. I have a pair too.

Quote - Life

I read this quote this morning. It hit home so much. The past few days have been hard just everything bothers me. I dislike feeling like that. This so totally was just what I needed to hear. Just thought I would share it. Have a wonderful day.

"In life, we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unkept promise, an unheard request, an irreplaceable loss, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable first love.”
Still, life is about being happy anyhow. Because everything in life can be summed up in just three words…

>>>It goes on... ~ Unknown

Project 365 - Day 179

Sunny Delight ........
This a favorite for someone in our home right now.
Little Miss Carly ~ She loves this and won't drink anything else. It all started about a week ago. So tonight we ran out and had to make a trip to the store. I love Sunny Delight too. When I was pregnant with Carly I drank it all the time.

A Little This and That

Wow I can't believe the 4th of July is this weekend coming up ?????
It's so hard to believe. We don't have any big plans. They set off fireworks across from our complex at the High school. That will be nice , no being out in all the traffic. I'm excited to see how Carly does since this will be her first real time to watch them. The past 2 years she slept through them.

I also can't believe our children counting down the days until school. Won't be long July 25th isn't that far off. They love it and I'm glad for that.


Our sweet neighbor lady that made the girls costumes for school had a mini stroke on Sunday. She is home so we are praying for her. Thaniqua is checking on her a couple times a day.

Keeping so many people in my prayers knowing that whatever we face good times or tough times God is there and he is so good.

Project 365 - Day 178

A beautiful wall outside at our children's school.
Love it !!

Happy List Saturdays ~ 1 Day Late

A Big Yay for my sweet friend Natasha for starting this Happy List Saturday. I know that looking at what all makes you happy can give you just that extra boost. So I'm writing down what has made me happy this past week.

This post is sorta different not my normal HAPPY post. I have been a little down. I lost a wonderful friend from back home in Ohio. I found out last Monday and of course I just wanted to be there. The phone and computer just didn't get it. I had to deal the best I could with it. I have known this man for a long time. He watched me grow up , when I got old enough to work my first factory job , he worked there too. His children and our family all went to school together. Last year about this time his son called me to tell me he had stage 4 lung cancer. He was a fighter and not giving up. Well last week he said goodbye. A year later gone.

Then last week I ran across this quote. I loved it.



Anyone can make you smile, many people can make you cry, but it takes someone really special to make you smile with tears in your eyes.

So even as I have been sad this past week , I could smile through the tears and remember those Happy moments we shared. As also my daily life in this journey of grief I can smile through the tears in knowing I'm Happy I know God and there is the promise of Heaven forever.

Hoping you have a Happy upcoming week.

Project 365 - Day 177

Today I took the kids to the school playground to play. It's so much more quiet there. A huge plus is I don't have to worry about so many people and the kids wanting to go here and there like at the park. Plus next to there school is a nice walking path. We stopped by the garden to check on the plants. They are growing good but it was locked so we couldn't go inside. We took a picture of the flowers. Looks like they are doing well. Yay !!!

Project 365 - Day 176

One of our neighbors. He is a special little guy. He loves to talk to Carly. Ridge's best buddy. He is just going into the First grade this coming school year. Such a little handsome guy.

Five Minute Friday ~ Wonder ? ? ?

I found this blog hop & thought I would join in. Sometimes it seems like all I have is Five minutes.

Five minutes to just write, and not worry if it’s just right or not. Kind of like how the rest of my life is at the moment.

Want to join me?

1. Write for only five minutes.
2. Link up by clicking on the button.
3. Go leave some comment love for the five minutes
who linked up before you.

It’s great , give it a try and see. Here is the topic ~

Wonder

GO .......

Life is full of wonder ........ the ups and down. I wonder somedays more than others.
29 yrs ago I wondered when I just graduated from High School what would I do.

11 yrs ago I became a Mom for the first time. I wondered can I do this will I be good at it ???

5 yrs ago I lost my first child. I wonder what life would be like if Riley was still here ?? My other two children I lost were here ??? I wonder ........

4 yrs ago we made a HUGE move to Nevada. A Huge wonder if things would work out.

Wonder what my girls are thinking ????



Then as I could go on and on about the broken , happy parts of life.

I know that one person knows all the wonder of my life. God knows and I have to have faith and trust that I know God loves me and will carry me through all of the wonder of this life on earth.

STOP

My five minutes for today.
OK, your turn – show me what you’ve got.

Project 365 - Day 175

Simply the best little helper in the house.
She is always right there when I need her. That Little Miss Carly I love you so much !!

Project 365 - Day 174

Jennifer in her new outfit.
She wouldn't smile so there is the 7 year old in a mood all day.
I love her and I know there will be many more days like this.
I did tell her she looks pretty cute.

A Sad News Story

I read this online today. I will never understand why people do things like this. So many people want to have a child. It's terrible and so sad. My heart is broken for such a sweet baby having to die like that.

http://www.kolotv.com/home/headlines/Mom_Blamed_Blackout_in_Microwave_Death_of_Baby_124434709.html

CRT Testing Results

CRT Testing ~ Criterion-Referenced Test or better known as a Proficiency Test.

Back in the first week of March , Ridge and Thaniqua had a week long testing. I remember they didn't have homework that week. Every morning at school was the testing. It is only for 3rd thru 8th grades. I know in High school it is a few more subjects. Every state is different too. They were only tested in Math & Reading. Well I know the school told all the parents we wouldn't have results for everyone to see until after school was out for the year. Well Saturday I went out to get our mail and there was two thick envelopes. One for each of the children, Ridge and Thaniqua.

Well I know that I have said this many times but I'm so very proud of both of them. Thaniqua made the standard for math. I was happy with that because she struggled at times but always came out on top. Made a great inprovment this past school year. Reading she was above standard ~ 417. I was really happy.

Ridge was next and I really wasn't to surprised at his either. He is in a GATE class at school already for gifted children. He did well in Math a borderline for standard/exceeds standard. Reading is what Ridge is already high in , I was excited too see where he ended up. Ridge passed the high standard which was the most for his grade 500 points. He got a 537. Ridge also had a creative writing part which he scored the highest out of all the 4th graders at his school.

I sat each one of them down and went over the paperwork with them. We also had them go to bed early that week so they would be well rested. We are so very proud of them.

Project 365 - Day 173

This morning Jennifer & I went for a walk. We seen this beautiful Lily. It made me think of a very special little girl who lives in Heaven. Remembering <3 Lilly <3 always & forever. Her Mommy is a wonderful blog friend of mine. Love & Hugs to you.

Summer Fun

Four wonderful children plus One fun Mom.

We live right beside a beautiful park.

We went on a picnic at lunch.

Fun times , Fun memories and most of all we did it together.

Thaniqua before we left



Carly's favorite Popcorn , plus some wheat bread and a jar of Nutella , some cold water and some juice. We even had some leftover Peanut Butter Bars.



Little Miss Carly not sure to get up or not.



Jennifer



Ridge ~ seems like he is always eating , Lol



What fun we had for a couple hours.

We also had a visit from a couple wonderful butterflies so our heavenly children were there also. Beautiful , made my heart Smile.

Small Miracles ~ Blog Hop

I'm joining my friend Franchesca in her Blog Hop ~ Small Miracles. Just click on the button if you would join in.

What brings me Hope ??



When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance ~ Lee Ann Womack

I heard this song the other day coming out of my son Ridge's bedroom. He likes to listen to Delilah show in the evening. I think he gets that from Momma listening to it. I stood outside his room with tears in my eyes. I thought of how I have had doors go shut but now just like the song says I was hopeful that another one would open. I had faith to carry me through those terrible times when I felt like giving in. I know I'm a stronger person today. I can talk about loss and I can reach out to others. I'm glad even on difficult days that I kept right on dancing. I'm thankful for God being there always. I was glad to hear that song as a reminder that there is Hope for everything and especially as a BLM. Thanks Ridge , Mom loves you.

Project 365 - Day 172

Jennifer wanted to pose on this first day of summer !!!!
She loves the camera. I told her she is gonna be a model someday !!!

Happy Summer

Happy Summer ~ so much fun things to do and great food. Have a fun and safe one.
What's your favorite summertime fun ???

I love ice cream even more in the summer & grilling out. Then again I love all of it :)

Project 365 - Day 171

My Carly ~ the little choc pudding girl.
She said more Mommy more !!!!
Messy but so cute.

Father's Day 2011

Yesterday was a good day. We just had a pretty relaxing day. Paul didnt have to work , Yay !!!! He watched NASCAR and played on the computer. Spent some time with the kids.

The girls made a cards for Dad. Ridge had wrote a letter at school before it was out for him. I almost forgot where we hid it , Lol. I made Chicken Breast , Mashed Potatoes , Stuffing & Corn for supper. I made a pan of Fudgy Peanut Butter Bars for snack time. They were really good. Paul loves Peanut Butter & Chocolate anyway. All in all we had a good day !!!!

But then here is the part that really gets me , makes me so frustrated ......

For one thing not having my own Dad to say Happy Father's Day to makes me realize that it's so important every chance you get to tell them that you care and love them. Little things so much mean a lot. I guess losing a parent at 21 yrs old woke me up. Anyway Paul lost his parents at a young age he was only 12 & 13 when they died. I know he misses them still.

Well most of you know that Jared Paul's son lives with us. Yesterday the kids got up and was running around wishing Paul a Happy Father's Day. Jared finally got up and never said a word. All day went by and nothing. I know Paul was sad and hurt. Justin his other son that lives in Ohio never called or anything. Jessica late Saturday evening wrote on his Facebook Happy Father's Day which made him so happy.

Last night after Paul went to bed , Jared never said a word sometimes he talks to me which he did but he never said a word about Father's Day. I know that you can't force someone and I know that his Dad and him have had there differences but no one knows what tomorrow holds. I guess I think what if something happened , wonder what they would feel like ???? I mean my Dad had cancer we knew the end was coming but it still didn't make it easy. I also know how fast someone can be taken away.

I just hope that my children don't end up like that. I don't think they will but sometimes family memebrs really amaze me how much hurt they can cause .....

Anyway sorry for the rant I just had to get it out.