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Thursday, December 16, 2010

~ Hurt Feelings ~

I'm hurt , I'm sad that someone had to hurt my feelings. It happened yesterday , it might have meant to be that way in the end but it did. It happened yesterday just before I went to Jennifer's tea party at school. I was on Facebook for a bit while Carly was eating lunch. A friend that I used to work with but haven't talked to for a few yrs. I have mentioned my losses the past few days and so I got a message from this friend. This is what it said......

"Did you have a baby die ? "

Nothing really wrong with the question so I said yes I lost two children. She sent me one back saying Oh really , How old ??????

I replied told her one at 12 wks a boy and one at 8 wks.

She replied Wow that's nothing to get upset about. With all your other children you should be thankful. Everything costs so much too. Just don't take things so hard , you never got to see them so you really can't miss them. Gotta run , Oh yeah I'm sorry.


Well today as I sit here and type it hurts that people say those things. This isn't the first time I have heard it and it won't be my last. I'm not the kind of person to get mad and argue about it. It just hurts my feelings. Those two children are still loved just as much as the four that live with me today. I'm still there Mommy nothing will ever change that. It's just the fact that the holidays are hard enough. It was just a bad time to hear that. I pray that the person that said this or anyone else never has to walk this road , cause it hurts. One thing that helps on days like this is the fact I know I will see them one day and that makes me Smile :)

Riley and Little Muffin

Mommy loves you both so much. <3 <3 XXOO

17 comments :

Kristie said...

I couldn't imagine having to hear that after your losses. I'm sorry :-( It's good to hear that you can get past it by looking forward to seeing your babies again one day. Take care! :-)

Trena said...

Oh Caroline :( I am so sorry someone said that to you. And in all honesty...it pisses me off. I don't care if someone loses a baby at 4 weeks or 40 weeks, the pain is there and the pain is real. ((hugs)) I will pray that God touches that person and gives her some knowledge, and I hope she can keep her insensitive words to herself next time. I pray for the Lord to put peace in your heart. You are right, you WILL see them again one day ♥ Lots of love to you my dear friend.

Lisette said...

That is just so cruel, I am so sorry that she said that to you. I love your outlook, yes you will see them again.
I think I would tell her she hurt your feelings so that she doesn't hurt anyone else. Comments like that should never be said to someone no matter what age their baby passed. ((HUGS))

Holly said...

I'm sorry you got this message from someone. :( They obviously do not understand that even though they weren't with you long they are still loved and wanted.

Veronica said...

I'm SO sorry, Caroline! What that person said was not okay! At all! Praying that you'll have peace through this holiday season. I know it can't be easy at times!

Hugs!

Tiffany said...

wow. i'm so sorry. you have every right to be hurt. what your friend said was so very hurtful. and it's hard to brush things off when we have been so deeply wounded. it's just a shame that people can't be more sensitive. ((hugs)) i'm sorry.

Kristin said...

Wow, Caroline....I am so sorry that someone would say something so hurtful to you.

That corgi :) said...

((Caroline)) so sorry! such a tacky remark she made; she obviously wasn't thinking and knows no one that has gone through the sadness and grief and pain you have with the loss of your two precious babies. Best you can do is what you are doing, pray for her and try to forgive her, as hard as it can be.

hugs to you!

betty

Trennia said...

I am so sorry to hear that someone said that.Maybe they don't understand, and hopefully they never will.I think momma's have a special bond with our children as soon as we see those two lines :)
Your babies are just as important as a fullterm baby..I can say that I have lost twins at 13 weeks and my Emily at 35 weeks so the pain is there and it's it's very real for all three children.Some just don't understand (((HUGS)))

Crystal Theresa said...

oh, honey, i am so sorry that you had to read something so hurtful. i really don't understand the need to dismiss our grief. i wish i could give you a hug in real life.

Sarita Boyette said...

Caroline, dear, I am so sorry this person was thoughtless and cruel to you. That must have really hurt. Yes, you should have two other children with you and no matter how many children you have, Riley and Little Muffin will always be missing. My heart goes out to you. I hope the love and comfort from us who undertstand will help calm the hurt some. xoxoxoxo

stitchndeb said...

I'm so sorry. I'm also really appalled that they would have the nerve to say something like that! I agree with the person who said you should tell them it did hurt you, so they think twice before they say something like that again to someone else. It makes me really mad because you were trying to reach out and be vulnerable and open, and they reacted horribly. :( ~Debbie

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I don't understand how people can say those things. I feel blessed to have a heart that lets me feel others pain by allowing myself the wisdom to put myself into their shoes before I speak. I may not actually know the deepest of your personal pain but I know that it is a pain worse then anything else.
How could she not get that! ((HUGS))

Kristie said...

Seriously, I can't fathom how someone could actually type those words without it registering how hurtful that was. I'm so impressed with your beautiful attitude towards her. I know it was so hurtful, and even more than the ignorant comment was the lack of compassion. Her statement sadly sums up everything women hear when they lose children from conception on. I have to agree with Trena, it sort of ticks me off. I'm thinking, can I have some contact info for her, cause I have a few words of my own to type... sheesh, seriously...

Michelle said...

I am so sorry. People can be so cruel!! You deserve to grieve and miss those 2 babies.

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

I'm sorry your friend was so insensitive and hurtful. =(

Love and prayers for you my friend...

mommyx12 said...

Whoa! That's harsh. Every child is a gift from God and no matter how many you have it is a real loss to lose any of them. Even through miscarriage. I'm sorry you had to hear those words.

 
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