Thursday, December 9, 2010

~ Emotions ~

Just some of my feelings , not feeling sorry for myself , just got to get it off my mind.

Emotional rollercoaster ...... this time of year ......

Yesterday all I wanted to do was cry !!!

We have had our tree up since the Sunday before Thanksgiving. The kids wanted to and with all the sad news from back East I said let's do it and get it over with. So not me but I guess I feel like it shouldn't be time already along with missing family.

This morning I went to finish our shopping. I made up my mind after yesterday I better get it finished or it might not get done. I had just a few things bought and in 2 hrs at Walmart it is done. I did get some good deals YAY !!!! Now all I have to do is wrap !!! Paul and I are going to Costco to stock up on some food tonight and they have Disney movies $6 dollars off so might pick up a couple new ones.

But down deep no matter now hard I fake it I feel like a Blue Santa. It's always gonna be there. I miss my kids in Heaven , I miss them and no matter how many children I have at home it will never take there place. Some people think I'm nuts I shouldn't feel like that but I do. My children know even through my smiles , Mommy hurts.

My sweet angels ~ Riley & Little Muffin
Mommy and Daddy and the rest of the gang we miss you so much. You should be here with us so much. We love you both so much always , just a whole bunch more this time of year.


Trennia said...

I hide behind the fake smiles too.
Someday we will smile forever :)

That corgi :) said...

((((Caroline))) while I have not suffered the loss that you did of two precious babies/children, my mom died twelve days before Christmas four years ago and since then it is really hard for me feel festive.

Glad you got your shopping done though!

I like what Trennia said, some day we all indeed will smile forever


Sarita Boyette said...

I'm right along with you, Caroline - I have had several teary days. I think part of it is because we want ALL of our family with us during this most blessed of holidays and we'll just have to wait until we are in Heaven to see them again. Many hugs - I hope you get to feeling better.

Crystal Theresa said...

<3 Riley <3 Little Muffin <3

Debby@Just Breathe said...

((HUGS)) So glad you got your shopping done. I finished up at Walmart yesterday too! This is a very sad time of the year for most people. The holidays bring back all the memories of those we love who are no longer with us. We want them here to celebrate with us.

Holly said...

I know you miss them and you always will! I'm glad you can love and remember them as a family.

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