I was talking to my Mom the other day. I called to tell her there is no new grandchild. It was hard , I don't like using the phone but when we are so far away not much choice. I did wait , I didn't do it right away. She is a Mom just like me and she worries she loves me. She took the news the best she could. I could hear the hurt. I tried my best to not cry. During that phone call I found out something I never knew. I was sorta surprised wondered why she never said anything.
She told me that when My Dad and Her got married they bought plots at the cemetary. They got four of them. I asked why ??? She told me in case they lost a child.
After I got off the phone I thought about how my Mom's cousin had a baby die of SIDS when she was pregnant with me. She told me about her that one time when we went to the cemetary. I remember that little grave with such pretty pink flowers and the little lamb on the grave. I knew that my cousin had five miscarriages and never did have a baby. I never knew what I know today , that there are so many that have lost. I wondered why we never talked about it.I'm glad that they were ready in case something happened , well sorta. I know that no matter what you do your never ready for death. It's sad but it is a part of life.
I have days when I wish my children never had to feel the hurt that siblings aren't here with us. I do love the fact that they don't forget them on any given day. I'm glad that I can talk about this part of life even though it's sad. I'm not upset that my parents never brought that subject up with us when we were older. It would have been nice to known more than what I did. My children know that there is the chance that not every pregnancy brings home a healthy baby , sad yes but my children know. I'm glad that it is becoming not such a hush subject anymore.
Even though they may have not told I'm glad I was raised in a Christian home where I know this isn't the end. One day we will all be a family together. I also thank God for sending his son so that we all may live forever in Heaven. God is good even through the tough times.
4 years, 3 months, 3 weeks, and 5 days.
7 months ago