Happy Memorial Day

Remembering the real reason for Memorial Day !!!
 Have fun & be ever thankful for all those who served for our country.

Wordless Wednesday

Jennifer's 9th Birthday

Well we have been on a roll with birthdays at our home but I love it. Lots of cake & yummy things but I'm a firm believer in everyone gets something special of there own. 

I love to make the kids cakes or whatever they choose. I can remember my Mom always baking my birthday cakes. It was always such a treat because she took the time to make it special for me. So I do the same for my children. 

So for Jennifer's birthday she wanted a chocolate cake.  I had been on Facebook a few days before & saw this beautiful Sunflower cake. 

So I tried it & it was perfect & yummy !!!

Jennifer also had her first very own friend stay overnight. It was great & she was excited. Her friend wanted to take some cake home the next day so I gave her the rest of it for her family.

Happy Happy Birthday Jennifer !!! Nine years old & so very very blessed.  April 2nd 2004.

Jennifer also is doing very well in school this year like always I'm so proud to have her for a daughter.

Speaking of school the girls return tomorrow after being off for a three week break. I think they are ready to go back too.

Missing Months ~ Feb & March

Hello there , Wow , I was hoping to get back to blogging more often but that didn't happen .......... So tonight I'm going to work on catching up ........ Well February is a bittersweet month as in my last post in Feb my first miscarriage in 2006 then my oldest child my son Ridge's birthday on February 28th. I know I'm so blessed through all of it. Well we had Valentine's Day which was quiet didn't really have any plans just a nice dinner at home with all of us together.


Friday the 15th was Lunch Bunch day at my daughter's school. I went to have lunch w/ Thaniqua & Jennifer. Just as I was getting ready to head out the door I got a phone call my sister in law was not doing well & they were air lifting her to Reno to a bigger hospital. I called my husband at work which he already knew what was going on. She had been in a nursing home since mid January. Lots of health issues going on. I had lunch with my girls then decided to just bring them home after lunch. When I got home my hubby had came home early too. Not long after we got the call she had passed away before she ever got to Reno. It was hard we had stayed with her when we first moved to Nevada. I know she is in a better place but still was hard. I had this beautiful image made for her family.

  Then on Feb 28th was Ridge's birthday he turned 13 years old. I actually have a teenager , WOW !!!! He also had a band concert that evening so we decided to wait & have his party on that Friday which was March 1st .

Thaniqua wasn't feeling well the night of his concert so Paul took her to urgent care while I went with Ridge to the concert. Thaniqua being sick started the month of March off all of us were sick off & on that whole month. Lots of trips to the doctor but everyone is fine now. Thank you God , I rarely ever get sick but I lost my voice for over a week. Thaniqua also had her birthday on March 27th & is now 11 years old. Can't believe she will go to middle school next year.

 Paul had to work a lot the last week of the month like usual but this time in 7 days time he worked 85.5 hrs. Way to much the pay is nice but hard on all of us. He had to work Easter Sunday too. I'm thankful for so much & that God is good providing work & watching over the health of our family.

 Here is my teenager , Ridge


 Hope to get back to blogging more & reading again. Miss you all bunches :)

Happy Easter

“I am the resurrection and the life.
He who believes in me will live, even though he dies;
and whoever lives and believes in me will never die.
~ John 11:25-26.
Happy Easter to everyone & to all those missing loved ones today we have the promise of Life forever. So thankful he has Risen !!!! 
Have a wonderful day !!




 

Seven Years ...... I Miss You Everyday

Today marks seven years since I had my first miscarriage , My Riley my second son .........

 I miss you so much & its something how I can remember exactly what I was doing that very day. I love you my son & miss you sooooooooo much. I long for the day I can hold you & tell you how much I LOVE YOU.

 No matter how much time passes my love for you is still the same , so strong !!! Lots of hugs & kisses to Heaven everyday but so much extra TODAY Riley , I love you.

Your Mommy

 

A Little Funny for this Superbowl Sunday !!!!

Happy Superbowl Sunday !!!

I thought this was cute , we are just having a little party w/ pizza & chips some dip. 

Also bought the kids a cake shaped like a football so have fun whatever your plans are & be safe. 

Paul had to work today so hoping he gets home soon only 20 minutes til game starts !! 

Walking with You ~ Steps Back into Life ~ Week 3

Welcome to Week 3 of Walking With You Share about your first steps back into life. What helped you survive in the world outside as you took those first tender steps? Are there still tender areas for you today, living in a world that doesn’t embrace or understand the loss of a baby/child? How do you cope with those struggles? What advice would you offer those new to this walk to encourage and bring hope? How has this changed for you from the beginning? If you are in early grief, what do you fear/struggle with as you try to navigate a new normal….life without your baby?

 It was so hard , I really didn't know what to say to anyone. So many people brushed off miscarriages like they were not really any life at all. I called my Mom after I was home from the hospital. She supported me & so did of course my husband. I had a wonderful friend that was understanding. I was thankful I had living children a 5 , 3 & 1 year old they kept me with a reason to smile everyday & get up & breathe.

 As I said in my last post I was thankful I had God even though I didn't understand why me ??? I prayed & always gave the new day the best shot I could. I returned to work after being off a week my boss was wonderful. He had no children but understood because his wife could not have children. I think he talked to everyone before I returned but there was still those looks , people whispering but I somehow made it.

 I'm usually a happy person , always joking having a good time at whatever. This has changed me & with every loss that happened after the first I was different. Today I'm different I hold my kids tighter , I love life more but I'm still thankful that God was always there. I know times I was mad & cried out WHY ME GOD ????

 I handle the struggle of the world by talking about my children all of my children when the time is right so I'm not hurt. My children freely talk about our losses & it helps all of us. They hurt to , I hurt , my husband hurts but keeping feelings in is wrong to & painful.

 Always remember talk out feelings & if you have no one to listen God will always be there he loves YOU always. I do have one thing to say as I close I think as each step I take or new day passes I'm closer to life with them in Heaven.

 I love this verse also my favorite about Heaven Revelation 21:4 New International Version (NIV) 4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

 I'm also thankful for the BLM's I have met through blogging & on Facebook my life is forever changed but I know I am not alone in this life. Everyone of you that I have a special place in my heart & your children. I'm also very thankful for all the books I have read with Holly Haas , feelings that I was able to feel & for this wonderful Walking with You group.

 

Walking With You ~ Clinging in the Pit

This week’s WWY topic ~ Clinging in the Pit Whether or not you are new to loss, talk a bit about early grief. What was it like, clinging for hope in the pits of despair? What did you cling to for hope? How did you survive the early days? What helped? What do you wish you could share with someone new to this walk, clinging in the pit? If you’re in the pit, currently, share your struggles. What can others do to encourage you?

 It's been almost seven years since I had my first miscarriage. My second five years ago , then early Jan 2011 two years , then my most recent Dec 2011 just a year ago. All of them feel like like yesterday , I can remember everything exactly where I was & what I was doing. It was so hard , so tough. My first was the worse I feel the hospital didn't treat me that well acted sorta like it was nothing. I will never forget that. I was scared so many thoughts went rushing through my mind. I remember laying on the bed in the ER waiting for a doctor to check me. I also remember praying & praying to God please somehow let things be okay even though down deep I knew.

 Leaving the hospital was hard I felt so many feelings , I remember taking a shower & screaming so loud my other children were not home thankfully they were at a friends so I could have a little time to compose myself before seeing them.

 In the days that passed after each miscarriage I found comfort in knowing one day I would see them , hold them FOREVER. I was also very thankful that even though it might be a long time before I would see those children in Heaven this is not the end. Being raised in a Christian home helped. I knew God loved me and this would only make me stronger somehow.

 I was also thankful for my three children I already had they gave me the reason to get up everyday & know that God is Good even through the pain. Having a great support system & talking helped me.

 Most of all trusting God even though I didn't understand WHY my baby ???? I can remember my Mom telling me it's okay to cry & I still have moments I still cry. It will forever be a part of my life for they are my children & I miss them everyday. I know God will carry me through all this just as he has when it was the day they left me.

 A couple of my favorite verses since my losses :

 Deuteronomy 31:6 New International Version (NIV) 6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

 Psalm 147:3 King James Version (KJV) 3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.

A Silly Moment

Precious moments just being silly & messing with my camera on my phone , 

I caught a beautiful moment 

between my precious 

Carly & I . 

I'm thankful for all the joy she has brought to our home. 

So blessed to be her Mommy !! 

Love you Little Miss Carly

My little daytime sidekick while everyone else is at school. 

Thank you God for every beautiful gift that I have been given. 

Life is so precious always 

Walking With You ~ Intro and Where we are Now ....

I have been a part of Walking with You before & I'm back again. I really enjoy Kelly & all she does. 

To start off my name is Caroline Croley , 48 yrs old . I'm married to a wonderful man Paul. 

I'm a Mommy to four wonderful blessings on Earth 

Ridge Logan ~ 12 yrs old

Thaniqua Marie ~ 10 yrs old

Jennifer Lynn ~ 8 yrs old

Carly Lorraine ~ 3 yrs old

Then I'm also blessed with four wonderful blessings that live in Heaven. I never got the chance to meet them , all were miscarriages. 

Riley ~ Feb 10 ,2006  12 wks

Little Muffin ~ Dec 1 , 2007 8 wks

Sweetpea ~ Jan 6 . 2011  12wks

Rosebud ~ Dec 28, 2011  7 wks 

So  now I'm what I always wanted to be in the whole world a Mom. I was always told I would never be able to carry a child but I did that & I also have lost. I'm stronger now and I believe & trust God through this journey. I also have the promise of Heaven & spending forever with all my children. 

Simply Beautiful .....................

I captured some beautiful pictures the past couple days 

I love looking at the skies & how amazing they are. 

Only makes me wonder what Heaven is like even with the darkest clouds God finds a way to paint a beautiful picture for us. 

Beauty at Seven in the Morning

Every morning I walk Ridge to cross a very busy road he has to cross on his way to the bus stop. I know some call me to protective but I call it love & I feel better knowing he made it that far every morning. He still has to walk a couple other streets to catch his bus. 

Anyway .........

I love getting to see the sunrise , so beautiful .

I took these the past couple mornings just so amazing , beautiful ......

So I thought I would share them with you. 

Always Thinking of You ............................

I don't need a special day little one but today is special & today marks 2 precious yrs in Heaven. I love you my ♥ Sweetpea ♥ xoxoxoxoxo