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Sunday, January 20, 2013

Walking With You ~ Clinging in the Pit

This week’s WWY topic ~ Clinging in the Pit Whether or not you are new to loss, talk a bit about early grief. What was it like, clinging for hope in the pits of despair? What did you cling to for hope? How did you survive the early days? What helped? What do you wish you could share with someone new to this walk, clinging in the pit? If you’re in the pit, currently, share your struggles. What can others do to encourage you?

 It's been almost seven years since I had my first miscarriage. My second five years ago , then early Jan 2011 two years , then my most recent Dec 2011 just a year ago. All of them feel like like yesterday , I can remember everything exactly where I was & what I was doing. It was so hard , so tough. My first was the worse I feel the hospital didn't treat me that well acted sorta like it was nothing. I will never forget that. I was scared so many thoughts went rushing through my mind. I remember laying on the bed in the ER waiting for a doctor to check me. I also remember praying & praying to God please somehow let things be okay even though down deep I knew.

 Leaving the hospital was hard I felt so many feelings , I remember taking a shower & screaming so loud my other children were not home thankfully they were at a friends so I could have a little time to compose myself before seeing them.

 In the days that passed after each miscarriage I found comfort in knowing one day I would see them , hold them FOREVER. I was also very thankful that even though it might be a long time before I would see those children in Heaven this is not the end. Being raised in a Christian home helped. I knew God loved me and this would only make me stronger somehow.

 I was also thankful for my three children I already had they gave me the reason to get up everyday & know that God is Good even through the pain. Having a great support system & talking helped me.

 Most of all trusting God even though I didn't understand WHY my baby ???? I can remember my Mom telling me it's okay to cry & I still have moments I still cry. It will forever be a part of my life for they are my children & I miss them everyday. I know God will carry me through all this just as he has when it was the day they left me.

 A couple of my favorite verses since my losses :

 Deuteronomy 31:6 New International Version (NIV) 6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

 Psalm 147:3 King James Version (KJV) 3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. Photobucket

5 comments :

Kelly @ Sufficient Grace Ministries said...

Hi Caroline. I could feel the pain through your words...the pain of those losses. I have been meeting with a friend of mine who experienced multiple miscarriages, talking with her as we plan the Dreams of You book for early term losses. And, she described the reaction of the hospital staff after her first miscarriage as uncaring...and almost disgusted with her. It broke my heart. We need to do more to educate hospitals on showing compassion to mothers. I'm so sorry you had a similar experience.

Those caring for mothers experience a loss at any level need to remember, that while it may be an everyday occurrence to them...it is certainly life shattering and heart breaking for the mother, as losing her precious child is NOT an everyday occurrence to her.

Love and prayers for you! Thank you for walking with us.

Jennifer Ross said...

Great verses that you shared. You got my eyes watering, when I read about you screaming in the shower.... I too, had moments when I just wanted to open my front door, scream from the depths of my heart, hearing the echoe of my heartbreak throughout the neighborhood....

You hold a beautiful grace in your words...

Holly said...

It does give so much hope to know we'll see them again. And our living children are a healing balm to our hearts, esp our rainbows. <3

That corgi :) said...

Those are good scriptures that you take comfort in, Caroline. Such sad experiences you have had with your losses; I am so sorry :(

betty

Kayla Yow said...

I try to always remember that although I do not have my baby here on earth with me, I will see him again! And it is so great to know that! The Bible verses you shared are so great for anyone who is going through a storm! Thanks for sharing!

 
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