Tough Time but Thankful

Last Wednesday I spent the day at school. It was awards and all that fun. Well in the afternoon I had some time so I went out to volunteer in the garden.


I had a few helpers that didn't wanta play in a game that was right out in the sun so we were planting tomato plants. In the middle of the garden they have a little picnic area. Here came a few teachers and some beautiful pink balloons. One of the children that were helping me asked someone what are all those balloons for ?

It was for a Baby Shower. I know it shouldn't bother me but it did. I wanted to scream and cry but I didn't I held it together. It was for the first grade teacher who just so happens to be due in July the same month I should have. I know those teachers had no idea but it still hurt. I remember when I carried Carly I didn't have a shower I didn't even let Paul put the crib up until I knew she was safe in my arms. I just couldn't do it. I didn't make a huge deal about it too anyone but I was happy for the teacher.

It was just one of those days when I had already been thinking about my children who aren't here as I watched my three school age children recieve awards. I always wonder about the what ifs ??? The one thing I do know is I will see them one day. Thank you God for that so much. You are so wonderful.