We should have been getting ready to welcome a new baby to our home. Instead of that , as I turn the calander tomorrow I'm reminded. I haven't forgotten our last loss. My little Sweetpea. I'm not going to go on about how much it still hurts me , my husband and children. It's there and it will always be.
I had said that Carly was having problems sleeping so we put her in a toddler bed. No more crib the baby part is gone. So Monday a lady that lives in our complex needed a crib for her daughter that is moving here with her. I felt good being able to help someone else out. My husband and I discussed it and no more children. I'm getting up there in age for babies even though I have what I call Awesome deliveries under three hours. I'm not stopping it but I feel like it's just the end.
Most of all I'm so blessed to be a Mother to all seven of my children. Especially when Doctors told me I would never get that way or have a child. So today as I say Goodbye to the crib and Hello to the month of July tomorrow , I know there will be a day to see those children.
I read this quote this morning. It hit home so much. The past few days have been hard just everything bothers me. I dislike feeling like that. This so totally was just what I needed to hear. Just thought I would share it. Have a wonderful day.
"In life, we all have an unspeakable secret, an irreversible regret, an unkept promise, an unheard request, an irreplaceable loss, an unreachable dream and an unforgettable first love.” Still, life is about being happy anyhow. Because everything in life can be summed up in just three words…
Sunny Delight ........ This a favorite for someone in our home right now. Little Miss Carly ~ She loves this and won't drink anything else. It all started about a week ago. So tonight we ran out and had to make a trip to the store. I love Sunny Delight too. When I was pregnant with Carly I drank it all the time.
Wow I can't believe the 4th of July is this weekend coming up ????? It's so hard to believe. We don't have any big plans. They set off fireworks across from our complex at the High school. That will be nice , no being out in all the traffic. I'm excited to see how Carly does since this will be her first real time to watch them. The past 2 years she slept through them.
I also can't believe our children counting down the days until school. Won't be long July 25th isn't that far off. They love it and I'm glad for that.
Our sweet neighbor lady that made the girls costumes for school had a mini stroke on Sunday. She is home so we are praying for her. Thaniqua is checking on her a couple times a day. Keeping so many people in my prayers knowing that whatever we face good times or tough times God is there and he is so good.
A Big Yay for my sweet friend Natasha for starting this Happy List Saturday. I know that looking at what all makes you happy can give you just that extra boost. So I'm writing down what has made me happy this past week.
This post is sorta different not my normal HAPPY post. I have been a little down. I lost a wonderful friend from back home in Ohio. I found out last Monday and of course I just wanted to be there. The phone and computer just didn't get it. I had to deal the best I could with it. I have known this man for a long time. He watched me grow up , when I got old enough to work my first factory job , he worked there too. His children and our family all went to school together. Last year about this time his son called me to tell me he had stage 4 lung cancer. He was a fighter and not giving up. Well last week he said goodbye. A year later gone.
Then last week I ran across this quote. I loved it.
Anyone can make you smile, many people can make you cry, but it takes someone really special to make you smile with tears in your eyes.
So even as I have been sad this past week , I could smile through the tears and remember those Happy moments we shared. As also my daily life in this journey of grief I can smile through the tears in knowing I'm Happy I know God and there is the promise of Heaven forever.
Today I took the kids to the school playground to play. It's so much more quiet there. A huge plus is I don't have to worry about so many people and the kids wanting to go here and there like at the park. Plus next to there school is a nice walking path. We stopped by the garden to check on the plants. They are growing good but it was locked so we couldn't go inside. We took a picture of the flowers. Looks like they are doing well. Yay !!!
I read this online today. I will never understand why people do things like this. So many people want to have a child. It's terrible and so sad. My heart is broken for such a sweet baby having to die like that.
CRT Testing ~ Criterion-Referenced Test or better known as a Proficiency Test.
Back in the first week of March , Ridge and Thaniqua had a week long testing. I remember they didn't have homework that week. Every morning at school was the testing. It is only for 3rd thru 8th grades. I know in High school it is a few more subjects. Every state is different too. They were only tested in Math & Reading. Well I know the school told all the parents we wouldn't have results for everyone to see until after school was out for the year. Well Saturday I went out to get our mail and there was two thick envelopes. One for each of the children, Ridge and Thaniqua.
Well I know that I have said this many times but I'm so very proud of both of them. Thaniqua made the standard for math. I was happy with that because she struggled at times but always came out on top. Made a great inprovment this past school year. Reading she was above standard ~ 417. I was really happy.
Ridge was next and I really wasn't to surprised at his either. He is in a GATE class at school already for gifted children. He did well in Math a borderline for standard/exceeds standard. Reading is what Ridge is already high in , I was excited too see where he ended up. Ridge passed the high standard which was the most for his grade 500 points. He got a 537. Ridge also had a creative writing part which he scored the highest out of all the 4th graders at his school.
I sat each one of them down and went over the paperwork with them. We also had them go to bed early that week so they would be well rested. We are so very proud of them.
This morning Jennifer & I went for a walk. We seen this beautiful Lily. It made me think of a very special little girl who lives in Heaven. Remembering <3 Lilly <3 always & forever. Her Mommy is a wonderful blog friend of mine. Love & Hugs to you.
I'm joining my friend Franchesca in her Blog Hop ~ Small Miracles. Just click on the button if you would join in.
What brings me Hope ??
When you stand by the ocean Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance I hope you dance ~ Lee Ann Womack
I heard this song the other day coming out of my son Ridge's bedroom. He likes to listen to Delilah show in the evening. I think he gets that from Momma listening to it. I stood outside his room with tears in my eyes. I thought of how I have had doors go shut but now just like the song says I was hopeful that another one would open. I had faith to carry me through those terrible times when I felt like giving in. I know I'm a stronger person today. I can talk about loss and I can reach out to others. I'm glad even on difficult days that I kept right on dancing. I'm thankful for God being there always. I was glad to hear that song as a reminder that there is Hope for everything and especially as a BLM. Thanks Ridge , Mom loves you.
Yesterday was a good day. We just had a pretty relaxing day. Paul didnt have to work , Yay !!!! He watched NASCAR and played on the computer. Spent some time with the kids.
The girls made a cards for Dad. Ridge had wrote a letter at school before it was out for him. I almost forgot where we hid it , Lol. I made Chicken Breast , Mashed Potatoes , Stuffing & Corn for supper. I made a pan of Fudgy Peanut Butter Bars for snack time. They were really good. Paul loves Peanut Butter & Chocolate anyway. All in all we had a good day !!!!
But then here is the part that really gets me , makes me so frustrated ...... For one thing not having my own Dad to say Happy Father's Day to makes me realize that it's so important every chance you get to tell them that you care and love them. Little things so much mean a lot. I guess losing a parent at 21 yrs old woke me up. Anyway Paul lost his parents at a young age he was only 12 & 13 when they died. I know he misses them still.
Well most of you know that Jared Paul's son lives with us. Yesterday the kids got up and was running around wishing Paul a Happy Father's Day. Jared finally got up and never said a word. All day went by and nothing. I know Paul was sad and hurt. Justin his other son that lives in Ohio never called or anything. Jessica late Saturday evening wrote on his Facebook Happy Father's Day which made him so happy.
Last night after Paul went to bed , Jared never said a word sometimes he talks to me which he did but he never said a word about Father's Day. I know that you can't force someone and I know that his Dad and him have had there differences but no one knows what tomorrow holds. I guess I think what if something happened , wonder what they would feel like ???? I mean my Dad had cancer we knew the end was coming but it still didn't make it easy. I also know how fast someone can be taken away.
I just hope that my children don't end up like that. I don't think they will but sometimes family memebrs really amaze me how much hurt they can cause .....
Anyway sorry for the rant I just had to get it out.
I'm a wife to a very special man ~ Paul , who is just Awesome. I'm a Mommy to four wonderful , amazing children on Earth Ridge , Thaniqua , Jennifer and our Little Rainbow Baby Carly. I have four children in Heaven Riley , Little Muffin & Sweet Pea , Rosebud who I miss but know that One day we will be together. Also I have three step-children which are all in there 20's.